Postcript:

So, I have come up with this theory: whoever wants to marry anyone must (and this is absolute) figure out how their partner might react after their passion has cooled or when romance is dead. This is because if you want to stay married forever (provided your partner does not beat you up or sleep around), you'd better say 'I do' to somebody who would not leave you just because they are a little bored or discontented with their own life.

If you can ask your partner and you think they are capable of giving an honest assessment, ask him/her.

If your partner is the type who always wants to chase romance or ever after as in fiction, they might be the type to leave. Their justification? They feel it's their right to fall in love and want to look for their own happiness. If your partner is the type who has a strong commitment to their own family, friends or work, they might stay. I am not saying that the latter is better than the former, it's just that people who stay a while are those who are willing to see if the situation improves and might even do something to improve it. You would have NO chance with the type who would leave at the first opportunity, to go behind that "other door", to see what might be behind it.

So you ask your partner, anong gagawin mo kung....? Pano kung....? If the answers do not sit well with you, you probe some more. If the answers that come are of the same type and color (all saying your partner will not commit or help you work your relationship out, in the future, when they meet somebody they can talk to and feel that they are their "match"), you just say: next boy, please.

[after the love has gone]

okay, first, i'd like to clarify that i'm not angry or angsty. at a colleague's wedding at shangrila mactan cebu (which i attended last weekend, which was a beautiful celebration, which was a fun reception, which was the reason why i had to fly and experience another scary landing at the manila airport), i told my colleagues that, after one year has passed when, at another colleague's wedding in shangrila edsa, i was cursing the just-married couple for being the only ones who were happy ("@#$@ kayo! bakit kayo lang ang masaya!") - but i digress - i was genuinely happy for the couple, jenny and stan. i could really sense that stan was really happy he got the girl. sometimes i get the sense that weddings are only for brides, that grooms feel that they just have to show up and get it over with. but at that wedding, i was happy for the groom. he was beaming.

but today i heard 2 pieces of bad news. a friend's relationship ended and another friend's marriage has fallen apart. which leads me to this thought - you never know what will happen to your relationship with someone. despite the two of you being totally matched or being "soulmates", sometimes something manages to break the two of you apart. it's really the luck of the draw. you never know what life gives you.

i know it's hard to accept something really terrible such as a broken promise, a lover gone cold, a partner who has decided to pursue happiness somewhere else --- but in the end. in a book i'm reading, some homeless guy who thinks he is jimi hendrix says something like happiness is a decision. you either crumble when life gives you a really bad deal or you say @#% it and move on.

thank goodness for american idol. in addition to wednesdays and sundays which i consider as my favorites for being badminton days, thursday, being an american idol day, has become another favorite. now to be looking forward to 3 out of 7 days in a week, that's not bad at all.

I've realized recently that I don't only enjoy playing badminton, I am passionate about playing.

Many people say that it's important to have something to be passionate about, to do something that you really want to do and not just because you are compelled to do it. I hate going to the gym, except when it's for spinning. Now, spinning is one of the most popular classes at the gym and I always end up late and unable to get a bike. So, I've not gone to the gym in a while (and I guess it shows- arg.)

But badminton--- when I think of badminton I find myself wanting to just get out there and play.

My passion for badminton is something that is familiar; I used to enjoy attending rehearsals with my singing group back in UP. I remember passing up gimmicks to be able to go to that dingy classroom at the College of Music where, for a few hours on tuesday and fridays , it felt like I was someplace I was meant to be at.

Since I don't sing anymore, I am just happy to find something I really want to do. I play twice a week, and sunday has become my favorite day because I get to play for at least 3 hours against people who are also passionate about playing. I don't even know their names and hardly talk to them. We just nod at each other and play. I'm a lousy social being.

I never gave Valentine's day any significance until 3 years ago, when my dad suffered an aneurism which he miraculously survived. We have since 3 years ago celebrated V day as my dad's sorta birthday.

Happy valentine's day.

I have a new ipod nano. Kahit hindi pasko, parang pasko na rin.

Thank you. Ang generous mo.

Sana.

Sana marecruit ka namin.

I've moved to another place. It's on the eighth floor and now I have a view of the building across. Which is a great improvement, by the way, since at my old place I only had a view of the litter that fell from the airwell.

It's a nice place, I promise you.

I wanna go home now.

Something happened last Saturday that made me call up people I wouldn't have thought I'd be calling when I'm having a near-death experience. Of all the people in my phonebook, I called an officemate whom I have called an @$$ a long time ago (behind his back, of course) and he delivered. I'd told him he'd be in any thank you speech I will ever make for the rest of my life.

Well, I'm alive (obviously) and according to the manghuhula, I'm going to live a long happy life and die of old age. Hahaha. The manghuhula didn't know about what happened last Saturday.

Anyway. While I was at sea and everything was uncertain, I feared the boat was going to sink. I worried about my dad and my mom and my niece. I didn't worry much about my sister because despite what was happening she was still joking with her friends.

Anyway. Help came about an hour later. And I reached land after another hour and decided that I was not gonna get suntanned that weekend. So it was a botched galera weekend and I ended up sleeping whole of Sunday and even became "sick" on Monday.

Now, it's Tuesday and I'm here and I'm alive.