the night before christmas

in this country, the christmas seasons starts with the opening of the -ber months. in honor of the yuletide season of 2007, in this chilly weather i will now go home and play some christmas music, and drink hot cocoa. i will wish everybody merry christmas and believe that this year will be my happiest christmas E-VER.

the past days i've found myself in the same courtroom, flanked in the front bench with the same people with changing outfits but same hair-dos. the judge adopts the same knowing smile and squinting eyes. (his big hair appears to be bigger the last time though.)

i represent a company being sued, together with 2 others. the plaintiff and the respondents are all business partners and have been so for several years. they executed contracts they didn't read, performed verbal contracts they should have documented, signed documents they don't remember signing -- pretty much your case from hell considering the convolution of facts and fiction involved. throw in an opposing counsel who resorts to high drama everytime he receives an objection ("are you nostradamus? ARE YOU NOSTRADAMUS? why are you objecting? do you really know what i'm going to ask?")


this is your local version of boston legal. wait, maybe it's more aly mcbealish than anything. imagine a threesome gone reaaaally bad.

i see them week after week, sometimes only with a few days in between. we conduct continuous hearings, we brave the rain and the flood, we even lose our slippers to petty thieves sometimes. whenever i'm there i can't help but scan the footwear of the staff or the strangers outside the courtroom. those white slippers are forever gone.

last hearing was my first time to cross the first witness. i only had 2 questions. TWO. they say the best cross is the one that has a direction and that direction must be reached in the shortest time possible. i was preceded by highdrama lawyer who crossed the witness for almost three hours. he jumped from one point to another, asked propounding questions on the same point, to the point of exhaustion. i could've sworn the stenographer was almost in tears for doing shorthand for 3 hours non-stop. [which makes me think: court stenographers are very powerful during sessions. imagine 2 lawyers shouting at each other, arguing over an improper question (or an objection) and the court stenographer butting in, "attorney, you said...?" of course she had to note it all down. even the most humiliating, foulest utterance is recorded. e.g., expensive lawyer asks the witness "do you know what a portalet is? if i hold office in a portalet, would you consider that as my place of business?" to show that the witness is holding an office in a makeshift, hence, no physical address, hence, improper venue.]

i stand up, they object. why am i crossing? "why? this witness is obviously her own witness!" i vehemently deny it. one says "she waived any objection to the injunction!" so? i never waived the right to cross examine. i tell him give me a few minutes and i will point to the TSN where i reserved the right to cross. he backs off, knowing that i studied the TSN and he hasn't even gotten his copy. a chicken in a suit.

i ask a question, one objects. i find my way out and i look at the judge. the judge says, "ask your question." woo-hoo. i get around a swanky lawyer at least 10 years my senior and i thank the judge. i ask my questions, get the answers i need, i say that is all and the judge surely loves me for it.

the two lawyers do their re-cross and my brain shuts down. i am tired and hungry and want it over and done with. i think about where we are going to have lunch and become happy to hear two words: Jade Garden.

laid on the passenger's seat are two bouquets, carefully wrapped in plastic. i look at them and i smile, remembering how i got them.

i was told to put them in the car lest i forget to bring them to makati. various flowers, hearts, all in lively colors, consist each bouquet. it warms my heart knowing how somebody would spend their time creating something to give to you, when a lot of time could be spent playing, watching television, sleeping or by being just a child.

the 2 bouquets are rolled pieces of fax paper on which isobel drew and colored flowers, butterflies and wrote my name beside hers, a heart in between. if this wasn't true love, i don't know what is.

last friday a good friend gamely tagged along to a private event where the band i was jamming with was performing for the night. i had intended to go alone, a brave thing to do, actually, but i decided to ask her three words early friday night:

"what's your g?"

"wala nga eh."

"tara, am singing at this function with this band, wanna come?" and she did.

we left makati at 7 and got there a few minutes before 830. it was raining that night yet i braved driving through the wet and traffic as there was one thing in my mind: i was going to sing with a band before a live audience. so

we reached the place and i made chika with the evergracious mon, before getting onstage. there were 2 girls who sang before i did, and that kinda caused me some jitters about being compared. but then again, did their opinion matter? i knew that i was singing not for them, but for me, to accomplish a silent dream -- a secret desire. i was initially scared a little realizing that the audience might expect a professional singer... but, after hearing myself and the prompt applause that followed after i sang a few lines of my first song, and believing that i sounded right, i was very pleased.

From the original sun signs queen, my best friend of 17 years.

You are being governed by the law of inertia.

You are in the same state and will remain so unless something happens to you. Normally you wait for an external force but I think for humans it can be something internal like making up your mind about what to do regarding your state of affairs.

I say I will make up my mind really soon.

She says, now is a good time as any.

Aaaarrrg.

i take a good look at myself and realize that i have changed a lot in just a few months. i used to be a nice person. don't get me wrong, i'm not a criminal, i'm not a bad person, it's just that recently, i find myself comfortable to say things i would not dream of saying years ago.

to illustrate, because i was already impatient with a pirate with whom we entered into a compromise agreement but not after an ugly verbal confrontation in the past, i told her over the phone just a few days ago: "alam mo, talagang ayaw na kitang makausap..." pirate casually retorted: "ako din, attorney, talagang ayaw din kitang makausap." ha ha. i answered back: "you think i'm enjoying this? i'm not. i don't ever wish to speak with you again. don't you dare have a piece of that merchandise on your shelf after december or i'd be suing you." the last part is actually based on a compromise agreement. i need not have stated it but i wanted to because she actually made me very very mad. when my lady boss learned about it later, she told me that i was turning into her. male boss said, that is NOT a good thing. :O

just recently, i attended my pasay hearing where opposing counsel was pestering me about my client's theory of the case (we haven't filed our answer). he asked me, whose side are you on, anyway? (i replied just like your client, my client is a co-defendant in this case.) he said, but if that were so, how come you're not objecting? you're not going to present any witness during the injunction hearing and you're not cross-examining the plaintiff's witness? (my boss, after i told him about this, told me that i should have said what is it to you???) (but i directed my answer to the judge: your honor, i'd appreciate it very much if opposing counsel would stop teaching me how to argue my own case!) the judge was amused. really amused.

opposing cousel 2 joined the bandwagon and asked me, how come you're admitting this document, blah blah blah? and don't you know that by doing so, you are admitting that it's etc etc? (in my head: yes, mister counsel, i'm admitting all of that and more. you have no idea what i'm going to do here.)

in an incredulous tone, i exclaimed in open court, "i am not a witness! please stop questioning me!"

while hearing was still ongoing and we were sitting beside each other, opposing counsel in his hugo boss suit whispered to me, i am sorry pañera, this is nothing personal. i patted him lightly on the back and told him, don't worry i enjoyed myself tremendously. i think we made a pretty good show for the people at the back.

happy to get a text from a friend who said that just maybe, our plan was working. the big plan was that she should do A to get B. now, at least, B seems like an attainable plan. good.

earlier today, another girl friend called to ask for advice regarding this person she is seeing who appears to be either coming or going. all the time. hence: source of major confusion. i tell girlfriend no. 2 that "this is what you must do, you gotta enjoy it for whatever it's worth but do not freeze yourself because you never know, he might be mr. wrong (if she hasn't figured that out YET) and that you're missing mr. right by being around mr. wrong all the time". she kept silent for a while and tried to argue with me. what about their friendship? it's so nice to have that kind of friendship with mr. wrong. i said: *&#@ friendship. you already have a lot of friends. a little while later, she agreed and we hung up.

sorry, was just being real and practical.

cracking the sunday code part II

an exception to the sunday evening dip is a long weekend. woo-hoo!

i love ninoy. and all the national heroes who died for our country to give us long weekends! mabuhay kayo! (pun intentional)

yesterday i had to be at the pasay city hall for a 10 a.m. hearing. at exactly 9 a.m. i stepped out of my building in my suit and leather shoes. i was going to a hearing after all. i knew already that finding a ride was going to be difficult, but i didn't expect that it was going to be that hard.

i waited for about 15 minutes and gave up. i texted my co-counsel and asked her would our hearing push through? it was traffic everywhere. she said she wasn't sure and i knew i had to be out of makati soon. i rushed back to my unit and changed to an A-skirt and slippers. my shoes and pleadings were soon wrapped in plastic and stashed into my carry-all bag. never mind style, it was 920 a.m.

i bravely walked to the MRT station in ayala, crossed ankle-deep waters at various points which was thankfully clear. it was a nice surprise to know later that the MRT cars have been segregated for females and males. the car i rode was full of girls who were all freezing in the cold, like i was.

by 940 i was at taft avenue. i had a vague idea where the city hall was but i knew it was near. no taxi. i walked to the other side and braved the shin-deep waters which was at that point not so clear. i asked a tricyle driver if it was OK for me to cross the street, i was scared that the MMDAs might apprehend me for jaywalking. maybe the tricycle driver thought i was out of my mind, but i didn't care.

after crossing, it dawned on me: I SHOULD TAKE A TRICYCLE TO THE CITY HALL! i saw one and asked the driver if he could bring me to the city hall. he said yes, and for a few seconds our eyes locked: i could sense he was debating whether to tell me in advance how much it was going to cost me, but he dropped it. i thought anyway that it didn't matter how much he would charge me... i had to get to court fast. (later my clients asked me how i reached the court. i said i took a "taxi" from the MRT station. i didn't want them to know that their lawyer took a tricycle to court.)

after a few minutes i reached the court. i paid the driver extra and rushed to the courtroom. i didn't know where the ladies' room was. but hey, i didn't want to go to the ladies' room. the pasay hall of justice was dark and ugly.

i changed into my baon shoes. since my slippers were wet, i placed them in a plastic bag and asked 2 female janitors if i could leave them right outside. one of them snapped at me: put them there, don't disturb us, we're busy. i obliged. i went inside the court room. the opposing counsels were in dark suits, their hair all sleek and their english polished. i was cold in my skirt, squirming in my shoes, i had not dried my feet when i wore them. the judge never arrived and we were left to set another hearing date.

thankfully, i left the courtroom. from where i stood, it was obvious that my slippers were gone. they were wet and used... who the @#*& would steal them????

sometime later while watching the news, i learned that everybody got stuck in traffic and missed their appointments, including the president and quentin tarantino. apparently, tarantino had to take a pedicab to malacañang and changed his wet sandals for newly bought shoes which ill-fitted him. this bit of info amused me. quentin and i had something in common pala. we were both victimized by typhoon egay.
except that his sandals did not get stolen.

as we agreed over dinner, i introduced my new car to J and K. i was like a kid showing off my new toy, and they, despite having so many nice toys themselves, agreed that my toy is indeed pretty.

the old me would have been more excited than i am right now, and all i can say is that maybe i have become mature. my religion teacher would have been mighty proud of how i turned out to be.

cracking the sunday code

everybody lives for the weekend. by friday afternoon we start feeling a little electrified, like anything can happen on a friday night. you start making plans with your friend, your almost significant other, your sister's friends, or the spa, for a friday night that is always too young to end... you say thanks gad its friday and mean it, even though its gramatically wrong.

then comes saturday, and you wake up really late, almost mid-day, because you had an all nighter drinking coffee that was supposed to keep you talking and talking. you spend saturday the way you want to, you sleep late again, knowing that you can still wake up late on sunday morning.

by sunday lunch you get a little antsy, a few hours to go and it would get dark, and by then, you'd have to finally achieve your best rest-state, to psych yourself up for monday again. you worry about the little time remaining which you can still call as all yours. by 6 pm, you experience a mood dip. you wonder why you have to go through this TGIF-BTIM (bad trip it's monday) cycle. it's stupid. must figure this out.

continuation:

dear miss hellotigerkitty aka The Bride from Kill Bill (kills everybody on sight),
i may have in fact figured out a plausible answer, an antidote to that post-saturday pre-monday dip... and i've formulated it in my head even before i posted my thoughts above.

in my post above, i illustrated what happens on friday, saturday and sunday, but i wasn't finished. i have yet to explain what also happens on monday.

on monday, you wake up feeling a little rested (a little is better than nothing), and you rush to get to work. since you're anxious to get to work, your mind is active, you are distracted from your angst the night before. the sunday before you were convinced that your angst would continue on monday morning, but while monday is happening, you start to mind the real things that you are supposed to face, and you forget about that pre-monday angst.

when late monday afternoon comes, and the day starts to wind down. you are happy that the day is almost over and you survive it. you are pleased that tuesday is nearing and that pretty soon it will be midweek.

so between midweek and friday is just one day: thursday. so, after all this analysis, i have come up with one conclusion, if there is any day that i must hate, it's thursday. because it gets in the way of friday.

a late post for jude.

i'm sorry, jude, i had really wanted to see you before you left. did i have a valid excuse? maybe not, but i tried to see you. the rains in manila didn't help, and that i knew traffic and parking would be a real problem. throw in my heavy work and late hours at the office, and the fact that i would not be seeing just you, but all the other familiar faces from the past; those i was not in the mood to be seeing then.

i remember you as the cheerful one with a ready smile. i remember you helping me with the campaign, and thinking of ways how to fund it. looking back, i sort of knew it had everything to do with the fact that you were doing it really more for her than for the alliance.

i remember the time you became my pseudo-date to my ball... because she was with someone else at that time? anyway, am sure you knew then that it was something i wanted to do for you in return, to come to my ball and see her even while she came with her own date. hmmm. that must have felt terrible, jude.

i wasn't certain about what was really happening then, but i was glad that you and she ended up together.

but after a year or so, i remember noticing something changing in you -- your demeanor changed, you were not as friendly anymore. of course, you had to be different, you've become the president of your fraternity and the image change came with the territory.

but even then, when i remember you, i remember the times you were the guy i knew who pursued what he wanted, and got it.

i am sorry i failed to say goodbye, but maybe it's better this way, i'd like to remember you as the plumpish guy who had chinky eyes and an easy smile.

i had been in denial about being sick until finally it caught up with me last saturday. after a night spent talking over max brenner hot italian choco, my throat suffered a whipping saturday morning and pretty soon i was coughing away like anything.

problem: i had 2 major appointments last saturday. one was the opening of a friend's coffee place in QC while the other, a jamming session with my opposing counsel's band some 3 minutes away from my house. it was a cold night and i had already informed opposing counsel that i was not in my top singing form but he kindly reminded me that i could go home anytime as i lived close by. good point. that, plus the fact that he's my opponent in one case and i didn't want him to think i snubbing him.

off i went in my track jacket, my sister's "shining pink stars".

when i reached his place, i was not sure if i found the right address. i could hear nothing from the outside. then the gate opened and i was led to the back area, where i saw a basketball court, a stage (no kidding) and a semi-acoustic band playing. there was archie (who played acoustic guitar and the lead vocalist), joel who played another acoustic guitar (who reminded me of andy gibb), the bassist whose name i forget and the drummer whose name i also can't remember. (told you i was sick.) nevertheless, they were four and they were good enough for me.

my repertoire? burn by tina arena. i want to know what love is. time after time. and night and day (bossa nova- which they said they didn't do but i made them do anyway.) later, some guy arrived who played a really mean classical guitar and whose stylings could make you wanna worship him. over dinner break, he played "like a lover" and i just went on to sing and the group broke out in an unexpected applause. same also when i played "you should Know by now" and "tell me".

okay, am sorry, this sounds all mayabang. it's just that i just wanna write it all here because i want to always remember that night, when i felt happy and confident and appreciated for my creativity. i remember saying that, if i would have an alternate career, it would be as a singer with a live band.

the group went on to play their covers - and they were surprised that i could jam with them even with old hits such as "we can work it out", "feelin' groovy" and "ventura highway". i remembered my dad, and wished that he could hear me sing. when i got home that night, my dad asked me how it went and i told him i had a great time and i wished that one day, he could come with me. maybe he would.

while at the elevator
i pondered about __________ while
looking down at the reflection of my shoes
on the silver elevator door and
i took comfort in the fact
that whatever had to happen, happened
and that somehow this will right itself
in due time.