happy birthday ate jeng.

may today there be peace within.
may you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
may you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
may you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
may you be content knowing you are a child of God.
let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun.
it is there for each and every one of you.

- author unknown, but it sounds like something that God would say.

Breaking news at www.inq.net [4:01 p.m., June 23rd]:

* (UPDATE) ‘No signs of life’ around ferry--Navy
* Floods in Cavite towns subside
* 21 La Union fishermen missing
* 33,000 families evacuated in Eastern Samar
* 29 bodies, 6 ferry survivors found in Masbate town--mayor
* (UPDATE) 28 more survivors recovered from capsized ferry
* 3 dead as cut power, communication lines isolate Marinduque
* Pampanga governor files plunder vs alleged ‘gambling lord’
* Climber dead, 9 rescued, 2 missing in Zambales trek mishap
* Typhoon Frank continues to move farther from RP
* Blast kills 1, injures 15 in Kalinga

News of death. Some of survival and hope, but the outlook does not really look good.

Hearing news of this kind makes me think that truly, nobody has a monopoly on pain or grief. I say a little prayer for the souls of the dead, and one of thanks that, despite where I am at, my family literally weathered the storm.

"foolish pride" is what the song says. but for me, pride is not a foolish thing. it's everything.

if you knew me, you'd know that i have a lot of pride. the vain kind, the kind that would make me focus on achieving something just "to show you". others may have that i-don't-care-what-you-think kind of attitude and that's so mature of them, but no, i don't go for that. i put a lot of premium on my pride.

it could be about anything, for ex., when a classmate disagreed with me during recitation in class and they're wrong, i'd be certain to disagree with them at another time. when somebody judges me, i'll be certain to show them how wrong they are about me.

but the worst kind? when you dismiss or underestimate me. i'll gather all my strength, pull it from everywhere and from out of nowhere, you're going to get it from me. stealthily. i don't operate head-on. that's just not my style.

i think of how to attack. i plan it, carefully, stealthily. you go on your merry way and then one day... you're going to want something from me but no, i won't be there. then i will have been able to "show you".

my uncle suffered a heart attack last night. he was 47.

i don't know the details of his death as it happened in chicago. my mother and my sister who were already in california took the earliest flight back to chicago. i still don't know what happened to my uncle right before he had an attack, i don't know if he suffered, i don't know.

i only know that i am happy to have been given the chance to see him a month ago, when he was so full of life. he seemed happy, but maybe not so, as he had not seen his family for a really long time. his kids used to be the young boys we took care of, growing up in one compound. i have a special attachment to the eldest, and to the youngest, being my godchild. their middle brother is close to ate mel, and now has his own family.

uncle omeng, as i described him to a friend last night, was "sobrang funny and mabait". the best thing i liked about him was his laidback view about life. he took everything with a grain of salt: he was not a worrier. he refused to worry and just took life one day at a time. he was very funny. did i already say that?

maybe what i really mean to say is that he was the source of joy in our lives. it was a joy seeing him. i remember i hugged him when we had that photo taken. i remember talking to him for a long time outside of the restaurant where cheska had her reception after baptism. i remember teasing him before i left na hindi pa n'ya ko na-shopping. i remember him saying sorry and me saying that's ok uncle, naglalambing lang ako.

the other question that is foremost in my mind is: my family seems to be dying a lot these days. who's next?

and so i remember to appreciate who is still around. to love and enjoy them.

and considering that many of my family have crossed over to the other side, then maybe dying won't be as scary anymore, knowing that uncle omeng would be there, with auntie vascion, and lila (whom i never met) waiting by the door.

so long, uncle omeng. hats off to you. you were such a great guy. at least, auntie vascion will now also be entertained in heaven.

out of touch, out of town

just got back from a palawan weekend with colleagues. el nido, as always, was breathtaking. some photos later.

a day in the life of two lawyers.

B: Hayayay. How do you refute an idiotic argument without giving in to the temptation of calling the petitioner an idiot?
Me: you say: this idiotic argument deserves no refutation. petition is denied for lack of intelligent argumentation.
B: I wish.
Me: and the petitioner's lawyer is required to attend 1000 units of MCLE.
Me: and take the bar AGAIN.
B: Blindfolded.

it may not always be so; and i say

it may not always be so;and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another's,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be-
you of my heart,send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.

- ee cummings

sick again. same as i was in chicago a month ago.
i have the flu, the kind that i need to lie down and sleep to recover.
my throat is itchy and i cough like anything. i have a cold, my eyes watery and my face feels puffy. you get the pic.

but for the last 24 hours, i've had two one-hour naps.

bawi ako on saturday. i'll sleep the whole day. buti na lang long weekend.

finally, baka i'll stop blogging na muna. i'm bored and i have nothing to say.